Ah! It's been so long!

Hi,

The school year is over, I have moved from the concrete jungle they call New York City to Champaign, IL for 5 weeks of training, and now onto Crested Butte, CO for a week of vacation with my family and my teammate, Leah.  I got out of the city just in time, for I'm sure if I hadn't left when I did, I would have turned into a nut.  A crazy nut.  But now, after 8 weeks of being away... I'm almost starting to miss Manhattan.  Whaaat?

What a year!  God is doing so much at Columbia!  Some highlights:

• 10 girls strengthened their relationship with Christ through my weekly Bible Studies.
• Two girls, Rosie and Annabelle, grew deeper in their faith and began learning how to share their faith with others through weekly mentorship.
• One student went to Confession and began coming to Mass again after 3 years of not practicing the faith.
• A group of 16 students and missionaries encountered Christ in the poor and vulnerable on a mission trip to Haiti.  One of those students entered the Catholic Church at Easter.
• 9 students were equipped with tools and strategies for sharing their faith with their peers at college through participating in a national FOCUS Student Leadership Summit.
• One student, after being resistant to idea that the Catholic Church holds the fullness of Truth, has decided to become confirmed in the Church this year!
  
• Countless other stories of Christ touching people’s lives through me and my work with FOCUS.

And I'm pretty sure God did even more in my heart!  I'm very excited about next year - Leah and Michael will be staying at Columbia with me, and I will take on the position of Team Director (eek!  pray for me!!).  We will also be welcoming Niru, our new teammate!

The new Team Columbia!

Below is a short video Michael made a of some highlights of our team this past year... it's pretty great.

Now, it's time to do some fundraising!  Pray for us!

Ramblings

Sometimes there is just so much to say that you can't even begin to say it.  And it is all so good, or so bad, or so important, or so deep, or so mushed together in your mind that putting it into words seems quite far from possible and not appealing in the least.

But here is goes.  My mushy thoughts spewed out through my fingers.

The Lord loves me so much.  Everything He does is a desperate act through which He hopes to catch my attention.  And He loves you so much.  And He loves that man on the subway I was sitting next to today as I prayed my rosary, and the one singing to the entire train car just to get a couple cents, and the student I had dinner with.  He loves them so much.  He wants to use me to love them, but I don't let Him.  Lord, You want me to talk to this random dude with unkempt hair and a mean-looking New York demeanor?  He'll think I'm a freak.  I'd rather just secretly pray my rosary, thanks.

No.  No!  No no no!  I let it pass.  That opportunity to bring Him into the world.  To be like Mary for just one moment.  To allow Him to love others and to love me.  And why?  WHY?  Why did I let it pass?

Because I am weak.

So, so weak.

Bah.  But this is where we come back to the part about how much He loves me, because even when I fail, He still loves me and offers me a way to share in His life and allows me to enter into His Trinitarian relationship.  He gives me the chance to run to Him, and lean on Him, to unite myself to Him.  All this, still available, even when I FAIL Him.  Wow how little my love is compared to His.  Or rather, how great His love is compared to everything.

Adventure

"Whenever we come together to listen to the Word of God, what we are seeking at bottom is not mental information or moral instruction or even a sentimental influence that will make us "feel" the presence and goodness of God.  What we seek with all our soul, rather, is the possibility of opening ourselves up in prayer to God's transforming action.  Whether we are fully conscious of it or not, in other words, we desire a change of life, a conversion from what we presently are to a more precise embodiment of the likeness of Christ at the center of our being, radiating our from us through all our thoughts, words, and actions.  This is why the life of contemplation is the boldest and most adventuresome of undertakings, for what could be more radical, more truly earth-shattering, than the willingness to be dismantled and created anew, not once or twice in a lifetime, but day after day?  'If any one is in Christ, he is a new creation' (2 Corinthians 5:17)."
 -Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis, The Way of the Disciple, pg 18

HAPPY EASTER!!  He is risen!  Alleluia!

Stations in the Village

Yesterday was Good Friday.  I spent the day at St. Patrick's Cathedral at a three-hour long reflection on the seven last words of Christ with Father Robert Barron followed by a Good Friday Liturgy with Cardinal Dolan (I love living in New York!).

The coolest part of the day was still to come, though.  The Vocations department for Archdiocese organized a Stations of the Cross through the southern part of Manhattan.  On a Friday night that is nothing special to someone who isn't Christian, it must have been strange to outsiders to see a large group of people led by a guy in a purple cape and a crucifix, singing hymns of praise in Latin, while walking through the streets of one of the most liberal areas of one of the most liberal cities in the world.

But that's exactly what we did.  We made our way from church to church or landmark to landmark, stopping at each to pray and reflect on a different moment in Christ's passion or pray a decade of the rosary.  It took four hours, concluding finally at 1am, and we must have walked about 6-8 miles, but it was awesome.

On a street corner in Greenwich Village, by NYU

Washington Square Park

Some people supported what we were doing, some people didn't, but most just stared for a second and then ignored us.

The hardest moment for me what at the very beginning - our first stop.  When the organizers originally planned the route a few years ago, they made this the first stop, not knowing it was directly in front of Planned Parenthood.  In the past, people have thrown eggs at the group from their windows above, but this year that didn't happen.  Instead, as we were singing, a woman started screaming at us our her window- not profanities, but rather something much sadder, and very true.  "Jesus. forgave. everyone!" she pleaded.  Everyone.  She screamed it over and over and over and over again.  She is so right.  And it pained me so much to hear her anger and sadness geared toward us, and to know how wrong her impression of us was, but not be able to make it right.

Jesus died to forgive everyone.  We were standing there last night to condemn, but rather to ask that He do just that.  That He have mercy on those who have had abortions and to heal them.

My heart broke a little at that moment.  How much misconception there is out there about the Church and what She stands for.  I hope I can do my part now and always to make it right, at least a little.

There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.
Archbishop Fulton Sheen

Mission in Haiti

Last week I went to Haiti.

the streets of Port-au-Prince

In fact, my whole team came with me, as well as our chaplain, 5 Columbia students, and 6 students from other universities, including my brother.

our group at the airport

We spent the week working with an order of Italian priests called the Scalibrinis.  They have established a complex about 7 miles east of Port-au-Prince that contains a seminary for about 300 young men, a school for hundreds of kids, a bread factory run by Haitians who can then sell the bread in the city, a site where houses are being constructed for displaced people to live in (the Haitians have also been employed to build these), a medical clinic, and a physical therapy clinic.  We got to help out with all of those.

helping out with one of the construction projects

getting to pray in the archbishop's private chapel

 The Archbishop of Port-au-Prince was also temporarily living on the premises, since his residence was destroyed in the quake.  The former archbishop actually died in his home and is buried there at the Scalibrini's, along with his former secretary, who was at the Cathedral when it collapsed on him.  One of the priests told us an amazing story about him: he remained alive for seven days after the quake, stuck in the rubble, speaking with those who were trying to get him out.  When they finally reached him a week later, though, he had passed away.  When they uncovered him, he was found clasping a rosary in one hand, and the Eucharist in the other.  Wow.  What an incredible testament of faith, huh?

One of the coolest parts of the trip was the opportunities God gave us to interact with the local people.  Even though most of them did not speak English, we were still able to communicate.  I even got to use some French!

hanging out with some kids after playing soccer

One of the days, we had the privilege of being invited to visit the Papal Nuncio (the ambassador to the Vatican).

Justin with the Nuncio (he is a Bishop originally from the Philippines)

 He lives on a hill that overlooks the city.  From his home we could see the massive amount of destruction and poverty.  Parts of the city that had nothing in them before the earthquake are now filled with tents or small houses made of cardboard.

We also drove around and saw the Cathedral that collapsed, as well as the President's palace and some of the tent cities that have since been set up to house people.

The President's Palace

a tent city

The Cathedral

The last day we were there, we got to work with the Missionaries of Charity in a clinic they run for malnourished children.  It was a terribly heart-breaking experience, as all we could do was hold these teeny children and pray for them.

Overall, the Lord challenged me to search for Him in every moment of every day, in the mundane and in the incredible, in the poor and in the privileged.  He challenged me to trust Him and demonstrated that He is always working.  He always does more for me than I expect from Him and surprises me every day with His love.

It was a beautiful trip, and I am thankful for all the work the Lord did in the hearts of my team and our students.  Please pray for a continual conversion of heart for each of the students, and that we may continue to learn from the experience!

my team is awesome, and I am so thankful for them

The paradoxes of Christianity

Christianity is kind of crazy.

Don't believe me?  Just read the Beatitudes.  The meek shall inherit the earth.  Huh?  The meek?  Yeah, them.

Jesus tells us:
Become a slave to find freedom.
Die to be born anew.
Suffer to find deeper joy.
Give yourself away to be full.
Find joy in persecution.

Weird.

But really, it's not weird.  It's just greater than me and you and greater than human instinct and desire and wisdom.  It's beautiful, really, what the Lord does:

For since in the wisdom of God the world did not come to know God through wisdom, it was the will of God through the foolishness of the proclamation to save those who have faith. (1 Corinthians 1:21)

He makes worldly wisdom worthless, so that man should not boast.  He makes His wisdom (the cross) seem foolish so that faith is necessary to believe.

And St. Paul gets it.  He says, For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with the wisdom of human eloquence, so that the cross of Christ might not be emptied of its meaning (1 Corinthians 1:17).  The Cross of Christ speaks for itself.  No need for fancy rhetoric or eloquent wording.  It's quite easy to get caught up in that stuff, though, especially here in the Ivy Leagues.  Blah.


For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ, and him crucified (1 Corinthians 2: 2)

Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.  Nothing else matters if not for Him.  And because of Him, we can find joy in suffering, we can find freedom in conforming (to His will), we can find new life in death to ourselves.

Thank you, Jesus!

Happy Lent!

Why happy Lent?  Because, as St. Paul says: now is the day of salvation.  Woohoo!

So many Catholics come to Ash Wednesday Mass!  It's wonderful!  It's even more than usually come to Sunday Mass.  I'm not quite sure why it's that way.  But it's an amazing opportunity for us as missionaries to reach out to those who may not be practicing regularly.  Father Dan gave a killer homily in which he invited people to restore and rekindle their relationship with God.  He echoed the words of St. Paul in the second reading: We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

Ash Wednesday is not even a Holy Day of Obligation, yet it seems like the chapel is overflowing with people.  And it's the only time of the year that, for the rest of day, you're walking around with a very obvious mark on your forehead.  You're basically waving a sign around that says, "I'm Catholic".

Ergo, we decided to take advantage of this opportunity.  The team, my disciple Rosie, and I made it a point to meet every ash-marked student on Columbia's campus we could find.  We got to introduce ourselves in a pretty natural way, let them know we are available to them as support, and even invite a few people to Bible study!  It was fun.

I pray that you really dive into this Lenten season and accept the forgiveness the Lord offers all those who call upon Him!

New Teammate!

Get excited, people.  I would like to introduce you all to my new teammate... *drum roll please*

Michael!  Ta daaaa.  Last semester, Michael worked in Denver at FOCUS headquarters in the International Missions department working on advertising stuff.  He was doing an internship to finish up his degree in advertising at South Dakota State University.  Now, I know what you're thinking- "Two people on the same team in NYC from South Dakota?  What!  Two?  I didn't even think there were people in South Dakota!"  It's okay and totally understandable, because I thought the same thing.

Michael has really been good for our team, bringing much joy and a renewed zeal.  He is hilarious and a very good and holy brother in Christ.  Please pray for him, as it is hard to start as an on-campus missionary mid-semester.

A bientot!

Semester in Review

Well, I have finished my first semester as a missionary!  Phew!  I have learned an awful lot about myself, about God, about people, about life...  Here are just a few things (15 to be exact) that I can think of while I sit here, procrastinating doing some MPD (Mission Partner Development - aka fund-raising):

1.  Missionaries are needed!  I mean, really needed!  Especially in New York, where the world views and the mindsets are so far from God it's incredible.  But nothing is impossible for God.

2.  I like cities.  It's fun to live in NYC.  I like all the people around all the time.  I like the walking and Subway riding.  But there are definitely moments where I miss my mountains and stars!

3.  I am so so so blessed to have been shown the love God has for me.  Where would I be if He had not summoned me?


4.  I stink at communicating my feelings, and I hate confronting issues.  That's not good when you're on a very small team.

5.  God's plan is greater than my plan.  His ideas are better, more creative, more successful, and bring about more good than mine ever could.

6.  I can be outgoing if I try.

7.  The devil is real.  And he doesn't like missionaries.  He's a sneaky little coward, too.

8.  If I get rejected, it means I'm doing something right.

9.  The answer is always, always love.  Love God.  Love you neighbor.  Love God by loving your neighbor.  Love at any cost to yourself, including your pride and your comfort.  But first and foremost, you must be loved by Love, Himself.

10.  Without community and support, we become weak.  Without prayer, we have no fuel.

11.  I still don't really know what I'm doing.

12.  God answers prayers.  He has done so in such concrete ways for me this semester.

13.  I have been coming to a better understanding of how deep and penetrating God's love is.  He has shown me so much more of Himself, and I am so thankful.

14.  I have learned just how weak my faith really is.  I still do not trust Him with everything.  I still won't give Him all.  I have learned how much I need Him.

15.  Lastly, everything is a reflection of God's mercy.  A dear friend has been sharing a lot about his experience with Mercy, and he passed this little nugget from Curtis Martin (FOCUS founder) on to me.  At first I didn't understand, but the more I pray, the more true and real it becomes. God is always trying to draw us closer to Him, through every little thing that happens in our lives.  He wants us so much, that in every moment - be it one of pain or struggle or joy - He is revealing His love for us.  How little we notice.  He showers me with gifts every moment of every day, and I don't even think twice.  I deserve none of it, yet in His mercy He pursues me.  I know Love because He is merciful.  Everything is a reflection of that mercy.

Thank you for the prayers!  I wouldn't be here without them!

Oh, and one more thing I learned - I stink at blogging!  Sorry!

Article

Hi!  Happy Advent!  Team Columbia was recently featured in Catholic NYC, the city-wide Catholic newspaper.  To see the article, click here.

Birthdays, Booths, and Bible study

Today is my teammate, Justin's, birthday.  In celebration, my team woke up at 5:30am and walked around Columbia in the dark while we prayed all 20 decades of the rosary (as we do every Wednesday).  Then we ate breakfast.  He had a cupcake.

This is what happened when I tried to take a picture of him and his cupcake.

Justin is a great teammate and brother.  Sometimes he gets a little too excited about being the "annoying little brother", and so I have to remind him that I already have one of those (sorry, Daniel!).  Anyway, I am very thankful for Justin and what he brings to our team.

In other news, I recently went to Washington, D.C. to represent FOCUS at a long-term service fair at Catholic University.

Keegan, a Regional Director, and Dan, a missionary at George Washington University, talking with a CUA student

It was a great trip because I got to talk about my awesome job, AND I got to see some family.

My wonderful cousin, Lauren, and my loving Uncle Mark

And did I mention Frannie Boyle?

Frannie Boyle. 'Nuf said.

Then I came back and made autumn wreaths out of ribbon and styrofoam with my Bible Study girls.  Ashley decided hers looked more like a lion's mane than a wreath.

Isn't she cute?

Thank you for your prayers!  Please pray for my new Bible Study that I'm starting with some upperclassmen women.  To Him be the glory!

Hello, again

Oops!  I forgot about this thing!

Actually, it's just been rather busy.  Lots of this:

And lots of this:

pretty

Hiking with the CFRs and some other young adults

Tough life, I know.

This is probably my favorite:

Jesus

Also, this last night:

 

Michelle, Ninoska (a missionary at George Mason), and Julia

We made caramel apples.  Yummy.  And messy.

Not to mention donor events, concerts with students (my friend Emily is on tour with Jars of Clay!), a new graduate student study, bike riding in Central Park, rosary vigils, Sunday brunches, blah blah blah.

I hope you are doing well, too!

Curtis and fleas

Last Tuesday Curtis Martin (our Founder and President) was in NYC for a brief development visit, so Father Dan invited him to come give a talk at Columbia.  And of course, he agreed.

Me, Justin, Curtis, and Leah

It was a great chance to share more with our students about why and how FOCUS works.  He shared our model with the students and asked them what they wanted to see happen at Columbia.  He challenged them to see the campus through the eyes of Christ and talked about what it really means to know God.  It was great!  It got the students thinking.

Yesterday, I got to spend some quality time with two students as we explored the HUGE two story parking-garage-turned-flea-market just a couple blocks from my apartment.  There was some pretty neat and random stuff, but it seems one can never escape New York prices!

Jen and Julia exploring the first flea market we found.

That's all for now, folks.  Happy Monday!

Bible Study!

New Yorkers love to try to shock you.  The thing is, everyone has been shocked so much, nothing is shocking anymore.  What would be considered appalling, weird, wrong, backwards, inappropriate, or stupid in other places is just considered normal here.  In fact, if you give anything a second glance, then you are labeled as being judgmental.  Well, call me judgmental, but yesterday, on the Subway (aka Sway),I stood next to a man who looked like he had just had his head cut open with an axe.  Blood was running down his face and had stained his shirt, and he was just chatting with some lady who looked as if she had just been clobbered with a bat.  Of course, I realized they must have been actors coming home from a show, but you never know in this city.  Why didn't they clean up before they went home?  Were they trying to shock me and all the others whom they encountered?  Maybe.  I don't know.  I don't really care, either.  It was just weird, and I'm sticking to that.

Anyway, I had my first Bible Study on Wednesday!  I've never lead a Bible Study before.  I'm leading a group of freshman girls through a new FOCUS study called, The Crux.  The study presents the basic Gospel message in 5 short weeks, exploring how Scripture reveals to us the person of Jesus Christ and discussing why He is relevant to us today, with the purpose of inviting the students to make Christ at the center of their lives at the end.  We'll then continue on with another study of choice.  I'm pretty dern excited.  The girls seemed to click!  It was great!

On Thursday Team Columbia got to take a day of reflection with Father Gabriel of the CFRs.  We went upstate a couple hours (read: trees, grass, hills, lakes, peace and QUIET!!!!!!!!) to attend a Mass of Thanksgiving for a Sister that Father knows who recently made her final vows with the Monastic Family of Bethlehem.  She grew up in the Maronite rite, so the Maronite Bishop of the Eastern United States came and celebrated Mass.  It was so beautiful!  Most of the chants were in Aramaic or Arabic.  Then they gave us cake and wine.  Yes, please!

And then yesterday, I got to spend an hour with my sweet cousin, Lauren, in Central Park.  (Why her parents named her Lauren, I still don't know.  Talk about confusing when we have the same last name...)

That's all for now.  Ready for another week!

Ready, Set, Go

This weekend the Columbia Catholic Ministry undergraduate board went on a retreat and invited us along.  I was all for it, since it was an opportunity to get out of the city and a great chance to spend some quality time with students and get to know them.  The retreat took place at the residence of Father Benedict Groeschel, well-known writer, speaker, and founder of the awesome religious order, the CFRs.  We got to spend some time with him at meals, which was super cool.  It was also nice to fall asleep to the sound of trickling water, rather than screeching tires and car horns.

While on the retreat, Leah (our Team Director) had the chance to share with the students a little bit about Salvation History and our role within that story.  In short, that Christ died for all, restoring our relationship to God the Father which had been broken by the sin of our first parents, and that He left us a mission here on earth, namely: Go and make disciples of all nations.  Since not everyone has come to believe in Him, then that mission is not yet complete and we still have a job to do.  She then explained in more depth how FOCUS answers Christ's call to evangelization, why we do it on the college campus, and how they could be a part of it if they wanted to.  Our students are awesome, and the response was positive.  We are so excited as missionaries to get to teach them how to be missionaries themselves!

The steps

Today our team did outreach on the steps.  The steps is the area in the center of campus where students hang out or do homework.  We handed out ice pops, which we've done before, but this time we did it simply to hand out ice pops and nothing more.  It was a hot day, you see.  And who doesn't like a free ice pop on a hot day?  Many people did not come up to us because they assumed we wanted something from them, which is true for most things people are giving away for 'free', especially in New York City.  We just chatted with people and, if they asked, we told them we were Catholic missionaries.  Some people were skeptical, but many were appreciative.  We even made it onto the campus blog, Bwog, which keeps students updated on what's happening and where they can get free food.  Here's the link, with our picture.  The girl on the left is one of our students, Jen.  Unfortunately, some people took us to be "ingenuous" when they found out we were missionaries, but I guess that's to be expected.  I had a lot of fun and met some really cool people.

All in all, a great couple of days.  Busy, but that's the way I like it!

Blessed

I am sitting now at my kitchen table, in a dark red and tan colored room, listening to the sounds that float through my window - cars honking, tires screeching, motorcyclists showing off.  But louder still is the sound of music.  Someone is playing a saxophone from a random rooftop nearby.  He plays a beautiful, jazzy melody and reminds me of my home.  It's a quiet, confident song he plays.  He plays every night.  Sometimes I am not as content to listen, such as when I am in bed and have to wake up early the next morning.  But right now, it's peaceful.  It's beautiful.  It's relaxing.

We have nearly completed our first week of outreach at Columbia, and it has been a period of incredible sanctification.  In this week alone I have learned approximately seventeen new ways to swallow my pride, and I have seen the devil in action.  I have begun to realize the magnitude of the task God has laid before Team Columbia, the necessity of prayer, the weaknesses of my heart.  I have been stretched and stomped on and blessed and blessed and blessed.

I am learning more and more the importance of faith and how easily it can be broken and shattered, and how necessary it is to prevail.

It's been a tough week.  It has hurt.  Praise God.  Thank you, Jesus, for loving me in this way.

Hurricane Irene

Bad weather follows me around.  Katrina senior year of high school, the Great May Floods of Nashville senior year of college, and now... and earthquake AND a hurricane.  Irene hit the city early Sunday morning.  It was crazy!  Not the hurricane itself, but the hype all around it.  Hundreds of thousands of people evacuated the city, the Subway shut down Saturday at noon until Monday morning (that is unheard of), the streets were completely empty, and nothing was open!  It felt like post-Katrina New Orleans for a day, just with much less water and not as hot.  All the craziness caused Columbia to change their orientation week schedule, which led to the cancellation of our first official event on campus - the activities fair.  So instead of standing by a table with 14 other religious organizations yesterday like we were originally supposed to, our team instead mingled around with the freshman first-years new students (seriously, this place is more particular than Vandy!) as they unloaded their cars and got acquainted with the campus.  It was fun, but definitely a challenge for me.  Today we go back to campus for round two.  Pray for us and all the students we will meet!

NYC

Well, I'm here!  I've been in NYC since Monday, and already I think I'm going to like it.  A lot.  At least for now.  It's been great fun getting to hang out a lot with my team and spending time with our very knowledgeable chaplain, Father Dan.  This guy knows the ins and outs of all things New York.  He showed us around Columbia yesterday!  Our apartment is not to small and quite nice (at least compared to the standards I had set in my head beforehand), but nothing compared to the boys' five story palace with a rooftop patio.  The view from our living room window looks something like this:

 

Not too shabby, eh?  Today the team made a list of all the places we want to see and things we want to do in NYC sometime this year, and tomorrow we are going to begin to tackle it.  Hopefully someone will bring a camera, because I seem to have misplaced mine (don't tell my mom).  If so, I will try to post some pics!

Oh, I was kidding about the view.  We do, however, have a great view of the Empire State Building, which is quite nice at night.