Yes

Sometimes, I think to myself: what. the. heck. am I doing?  Hi, I'm Laura.  I'm shy.  I like to be independent; do things alone; watch people I don't know, not talk to them.

Story: One time, at the beginning of my junior year, during Vandy Catholic's fall outreach, a friend and I went to the Commons (freshmen housing) during their Movie on the Lawn night to gather some fresh blood... I mean, first years... and invite them to the Ice Cream Social happening at the Frassati House.  We went, spent a good hour or so there, and somehow managed to return to the Frassati House with no less than 15 freshmen in tow.  It was a team effort, really.  You see, my friend did all the talking, and I... well, I held the sign.  That's right.  Oh, I mean, I was a killer sign-holder.  I even drew the sign.  That hand-drawn ice cream cone must have looked pretty appetizing in order to get those 15 young'uns to follow us 20 minutes from the Commons to Frassati.  And the arrow... it was always pointing in the right direction.  Yeah, I was a killer sign-holder.

I tell you this story to give you an idea of where I come from and where I still feel most comfortable.  Behind the sign.  No need to speak.  I mean, didn't Saint Francis say, "Preach the Gospel always, if necessary use words"?  Well, that is too tempting for me.  You think I'll be an effective missionary at Columbia if I walk around all day holding a sign?  I wish.  But that's not what God has called me to do.  He just keeps pushing me further and further.

In the past few years, God has made me ask people for things they don't really want to give and do things they don't really want to do; knock on strangers' doors, disrupt their day, and ask questions they don't really want to answer.  Now, I've said yes to a job that asks me to invite myself into others' lives in an endless variety of ways and not leave them alone until they start doing the same.  Not easy for someone who just wants to be a people-pleasing fly on the wall.

What. the. heck. am I doing?

... His will, I guess.  And by 'guess', I mean 'know'.  And, I suppose, I really don't need to know anything else.